Relationships and boundaries
Relationships…be it with your parents, your neighbours or a loved one, your children, your teacher or the guy you chat to at a bus stop. As people we are naturally drawn to communicate with others on some level. Our first relationship is with ourself, we learn to walk, to talk, to eat, to love, to communicate, to crawl, to sleep. Our second relationship is generally with our parents or people we have chosen to be carers, this may be foster parents or adoptive mums and dads. These are our first teachers to how relationships work.
If I ask for something, will they give it to me? If I tell them they love me, will they say it back? We learn boundaries through our parents, unhealthy or healthy. These boundaries then have this tendency to stick with us through our teen years and into adulthood. As we begin to venture to university, to work we begin to meet many other people we may not have necessarily had the opportunity to before. The early relationships from our parents and family, teachers and schoolmates can very much affect these relationships going forward. They form a foundation, a set of rules which have become over the years engrained in us. So throw in labels for a variety of relationships on top of that and it can leave us feeling a bit confused and actually wondering what is this relationship? Soul mates, twin flames, karmics, what do they all mean?
These are people who belong to the same soul group as you. You feel comfortable with them and immediately at ease. You know when you start talking to someone and you feel as if you have known them all your life, the chances are you have known them in previous lives and have come together in this lifetime to fulfil your individual soul purpose and your soul mate will support you in doing this and vice versa. They generally last quite a long time if you decide to be with this person.
A karmic relationship is a relationship you have with someone and you are not sure quite why you are in this relationship. You feel something towards them, they feel something towards you. Neither of you can explain it but you feel you are meant to be together. These relationships tend to be rather shorter than soul mate relationships. You have both been in a relationship before but in a different scenario.
For example in a past like my ex husband shot me in the knee, in this lifetime I left him. Karma rebalanced. That is a very simple way of looking at things. I was with another beautiful soul not long afterwards who I knew I would be with for a short time, 14 months, but that we both needed to be in this relationship for a reason. I learnt a lot about myself during this time as I am sure he did too.
A twin flame is someone who you meet who you are physically, energetically, mentally and spiritually attracted to. You aren’t looking for love when you meet them and often you live in different places. The connection is that intense that it can feel quite overwhelming. I have seen in many forums people saying that their twin flame is physically or emotionally abusing them. The purpose of twin flames is to unite to work for the greater good, for the collective, so if anyone is abusing you I highly suggest you seek help and guidance and remove yourself from the situation.
Having been there myself it doesn’t get any easier and the sooner you leave the less healing you need afterwards. Anyway I digress. In some texts I have read there is a belief that Mary and Joseph were twin flames. They came together to share messages of love. Twin flames do not have to be in a physical relationship with each other in order to fulfil their life purpose.
Relationship with self
Rather than seeking our soul mate, our twin flame, our loved one the most important relationship we have to learn is that with ourself. We learn to set healthy boundaries, to love ourselves warts and all so that when we are in union with ourselves we can reach that place with another. We work and heal our heart so we may share it with others. All of these labels attached to relationships bring with them expectations as I mention in my first book, A Gentle Hug for the Soul. Expectations in relationships can lead to frustration and disappointment. Yet if we have learnt to truly love ourselves and we become less attached to the label the outcome who knows what beautiful surprises will come. Every day we can tell ourselves I love me so that when someone says I love you you believe it and you feel it.
My own experience
I myself, have experienced all of the above. I was actually told by spirit back in February 2020, when I met my soul mate that I could choose him or my twin flame, but I didn’t come here for comfort. Thanks Universe. The twin flame journey is a challenging one in that this person will trigger you in so many ways you didn’t even know was possible. After meeting mine for the first time I spent a week crying in bed. When I finally asked why I was given the words Twin Flame. At the time I had no idea what this was. Over this last year I have learnt a lot about myself and about twin flames and the tools that can be used to support you through this. Some of the words which come to mind are acceptance, surrender and letting go. Huge lessons. I wrote more in detail about the twin flame journey in my book, Awaken Your Soul which you can get here https://amzn.to/3gLFDlH
I am planning a twin flame workshop at the end of 2020 so do make sure you have signed up to my newsletter to keep updated with upcoming events and workshops.